Top 5 Transformative Books for Working Moms to Reclaim Their Time, Energy, and Identity
Let’s call a spade a spade. There's no such thing as a perfect balance between career and motherhood. There, I said it. Balance is a myth. And I know this firsthand. As a full-time working mom of three who spent a decade in a high-stress corporate technology sales role while also supporting an entrepreneur partner with a small business, I can tell you there's no ‘easy button’ for being a working mom. What we can do is learn from others' experiences, pick up a few helpful tips, and keep moving forward. Here are some books I recommend to any mom, whether you're just coming back from parental leave or taking on a C-level promotion. Remember, different solutions work for different people and families, so find what works best for you and yours.
1. "Doing It All: Stop Over-Functioning and Become the Mom and Person You’re Meant to Be" by Dr. Whitney Casares
Written by a mom of two and pediatrician, Dr. Whitney Casares takes us on a story-led journey from her own experiences to a step-by-step plan to live a life that truly aligns with our priorities. Casares speaks directly to working moms, helping us get comfortable with vulnerability and encouraging us to authentically identify our values and goals. She provides real-life, relatable examples of how modern moms can come back to center, focusing on inner work while also offering solutions to daily challenges like clutter, chores, and division of labor. I especially appreciated her perspective as a physician, making it easy to relate to her over-functioning while trying to balance motherhood with a demanding career.
2. "Releasing the Mother Load: How to Carry Less and Enjoy Motherhood More" by Erica Djossa
Erica Djossa, a therapist and mom, takes us back to the foundations of motherhood, examining societal and cultural beliefs that have contributed to the mental load and invisible labor moms are burdened with today. I found myself reexamining my own beliefs about the expectations of motherhood. Djossa dives deep into the invisible load associated with tasks like feeding the household, keeping the house, and scheduling. She urges us to make this invisible load visible and to collaborate with our partners to break the gender divide narrative. Her chapter on managing mental health, uniquely written from her expertise as a therapist, encourages us to ask for help. “Whatever the reason that has prevented you from asking for help, you need to figure that shit out and move past it.” I love it.
3. "Couples That Work: How Dual-Career Couples Can Thrive in Love and Work" by Jennifer Petriglieri
Jennifer Petriglieri's "Couples That Work" is an interesting read (or listen, which is how I consumed this one) because it addresses the challenges dual-career couples face and offers strategies for thriving both in their relationships and careers. Petriglieri draws on extensive research and real-life examples, telling the stories of many couples to provide practical advice on managing career transitions, communication, and mutual support. She identifies different phases in a couple's career and life journey and offers ideas on how couples can work as a team to strengthen their bond throughout the ups and downs. This book made me think about what stage I was in in my career and how to best support my partner. I’m a huge fan of “teamwork makes the dream work,” and this book felt like an encouraging guide on how to achieve this while also maintaining a sense of self and identity.
4. "Love Your Kids Without Losing Yourself" by Dr. Morgan Cutlip
You’ve probably seen me use quotes from this book on my feed because I love it so much. “Moms don’t need another list of things to do with the time they don’t have.” Written from the lens of attachment models (which I am a huge fan of from my own therapy journey), Dr. Morgan Cutlip gives us five steps or bonds we can examine in just about every situation to get us from “mom-ing so hard” to “mom-ing ourselves.” She’s funny and relatable, and I appreciate her candor about relationships with children, partners, and even parents. I walked away from this book with a better understanding of why I am the parent I am and how I can pivot to become the parent I want to be—one more focused on connection with my children and relationships, and how to reframe everyday interactions to prioritize those connections. I should also mention that she’s one of my favorite Instagram follows because she continually gives practical advice for how to improve our relationships with communication and a positive mindset. This book is great for working moms because it isn’t overtly focused on career but instead on increased self-awareness and building relational connections.
5. "Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do (and More Life to Live)" by Eve Rodsky
I know you’ve all heard of this one, but I couldn’t leave it off the Top 5 list. This book has essentially become the bible for anyone feeling crushed by the mental load and needing solutions. Besides being a funny read that makes me giggle throughout, Eve Rodsky uses stories to illustrate her points about how we became the “she-fault” parent and why we deserve to get out of that status. As you know by now, I’m big on focusing on solutions instead of problems, and that’s exactly what Eve does. She powerfully urges us to reexamine the value of our time, reclaim our right to be interesting, and establish values and standards to live by. Then, she sets us up to play the 100-card deck game “Fair Play” with our partners, offering tips on how to best get them on board. One thing Eve does NOT really discuss is outsourcing or offloading much of the mental load, and instead focuses on how to better even the “deck” between partners. This is a great first step, especially for dual-income working partners, to explore as it’s critical to have both parties “bought-in” on the time, energy, and mental load it takes to run a household.
These books offer a wealth of knowledge, practical tips, and emotional support for working moms. Whether you’re looking to streamline your daily routines, foster a healthier work-life balance, or strengthen your relationship, these titles provide the tools and inspiration you need to thrive both at home and at work.
Maybe someday I’ll be able to offer a guide for working moms, and all busy moms who want a best practices approach for creating better systems to support their lifestyle, and include a deep dive on the importance and logistics of hiring a village.
Happy reading!